Why?
by n00btmntfan
Summary: All four of the Turtles have hit the "Why?" stage of their development, and Master Splinter is running out of answers for them. This is just a fluffy collection of interactions I imagine Splinter having with the Turtles. 2012 'verse.


"Master Splinter, why do we have to stretch?"

Splinter looked up from his forward fold. "So that we do not hurt ourselves, Raphael."

His 4-year-old son grimaced. "But stretching kinda hurts anyway."

"Then you are straining too far."

"Why does stretching keep us from hurting ourselves?"

"Well, when the muscles have worked hard, they can become too tense. If you do not stretch, you might hurt your muscles the next time they work hard."

"Why?"

"That's just the way things are."

"But why?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you knew everything."

"I don't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't. Now, let us meditate."

"Why do we have to meditate?"

"It helps us balance ourselves."

"Why?"

"Because it helps us bring our mind and body in line with each other."

"Why do we need to do that?"

"It makes us healthier."

"But _why?_ "

* * *

"Master Splinter, if Japanese is an Altaic language, why is the word for bread ' _pan_ ' when that's clearly of Latin origin?"

Splinter glanced down from his work surface where he was preparing dinner for the boys. Donatello was holding a large Japanese-to-English dictionary. "Because the Portuguese introduced bread into Japan."

"Why?"

"Because they came to do trade with Japan, and they brought their bread with them."

"Hmm. Why is the English word for _Nihon_ 'Japan,' anyway?"

"I think it had something to do with the Portuguese mishearing it."

"How do you get 'Japan' out of _Nihon_?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It might have had something to do with the _kanji_ for _Nihon._ A lot of the words got muddled as they made their way to English."

"Why do we usually speak English?"

"This is America, and in America, they speak English."

"But we never talk to anyone else. So why do we speak English?"

"America is your home country; I want you to know the language and customs of your home country."

"Why?"

"Because that is the way things are."

"But _why_ is that the way things are?"

"Because I said so."

"But _why?_ "

* * *

"Master Splinter, why do I have to use a bokken?" Leo was looking longingly at the swords on the wall.

"So you do not hurt yourself."

"But you don't hurt yourself with a katana, so why do _I_ have to use a bokken?"

"Because you are still learning. You need to learn more."

"Why?"

"Because you keep making mistakes. If you use a real katana, you will cut yourself."

"Why are katanas so sharp?"

"They are weapons. They are supposed to be sharp."

"But why?"

"Because weapons are…they are used to hurt people."

"Why would we want to hurt people?"

"Some people are bad. They want to hurt other people. Weapons are a way to stop them from hurting other people."

"So you have to hurt people to keep them from hurting people?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Some people will not stop doing bad things until you force them to stop. Sometimes, hurting them is the only way."

"Why won't some people stop doing bad things unless you hurt them?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"Leonardo, I simply don't know."

"But _why?"_

* * *

"Master Splinter, why does that picture make you sad?"

Splinter looked away from his family portrait and glanced down at Michelangelo. "Do you see this man here?"

"Yeah."

"That is me. I was a human once."

"Why?"

"That's simply the way I was born. I became like this when I was splashed with the same substance that made you the way you are."

"Why did you get splashed with it?"

"It was an accident."

"Is that why the picture makes you sad?"

"No. Do you see this woman and this baby?"

"Yeah."

"The woman's name was Tang Shen. The baby's name was Miwa. They were my wife and daughter, but they are gone now."

"Are you sad because you miss them?"

"Yes, Michelangelo."

"Why are they gone?"

"They…they died."

"Why?"

"They were killed by a very bad man."

"Why was he bad?"

Splinter dropped to a knee so he could look his son in the eye. "I wish I knew," he said softly, drawing Michelangelo into an embrace.


End file.
